New Drugs for Women

MOOD: comical



Also known as heroine in countries outside the U.S.

D A M N I T O L -- Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
M E N I C I L L I N -- Potent anti-boy-otic. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ..Can we get naked now?"
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N -- Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
F L I P I T O R -- Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to give other drivers the finger.
J A C K A S S P I R I N -- Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T -- A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.