DVD - Garden State

Don't believe the hype. I did, and I am now bitter.

5 out of 10

And, 5 is pretty harsh from me, but I just kept sitting around for some epiphany, something real to grab onto, and it never came. So, a 5 is definitely deserved. A 5 represents average, but it's only one above being below-average. I do not enjoy things that are just average. Pity the thing which is below average.


Positives:
Very few. Peter Sargaard - this guy played the world's best villain in Boys Don't Cry, and though I shudder when I see his face, he is a superior actor with a wonderful, and distinctive, voice. The chick who played Char-lene on Designing Women as a trashed-out mom with a Pat Benatar haircut. The reveal that he pushed his mom and that's how she ended up paralyzed (and she eventually died because she was paralyzed). Natalie Portman in a semi-adult role, which reminds me I can't wait to see Closer. It better not suck like this movie did, and it's got Julia Roberts in it so I don't think it will. The Music - esp. Thievery Corp.,



Negatives:
There are so many, I truly don't know where to start, so I'll just spew from here on out. Who gave this asshole millions of dollars to make a mainstream feature film, and why did he waste it? The composition of this film was off, and annoying. If the focus was that he's been troubled and separated over his family because of how his dad feels about him, why not spend MORE TIME showing him and his father interacting? After the clever reveal that he pushed his mother, why not make it some freak thing like he had a spasm, or he was pissed off and compulsively pushed her down the stairs or something? That would warrant people really thinking he was dangerous. Not that crap he told us, though. That is a huge gap and really makes no sense, so that you feel like you're supposed to be shallow or an idiot if you're expected to believe that. This kind of thing insults me, deeply. Other things I didn't like: The Transparent Pretension. As if boys think that deeply, especially if they are single and come from privileged backgrounds. Is this some kind of coming-of-age story? Well, of course, things are different now than they were in the Reagan Era. Why do boys always have to tell their coming-of-age stories and everyone watches and pats him on the back - where are the girl coming-of-age stories? This reminded me a silly Tom Sawyer tale, and I thought it was pretty dumb. How did the beginning scene of the plane going down relate to the movie? Are we expected to understand that it was a dream? 'Cause the connection is pretty tenuous, so that I'm not even sure; it's odd for me to be confused when I watch a movie, so I'm going to say it's because this one was poorly made. Boy ego-wanking - as if Natalie Portman would be with that guy. Keep dreaming. Though the music was good in it, the scene in slo-mo where they are walking into the hotel. Obligatory. The inapprooriate way that guy put his hand on his dad's chest during their "talk" which was really his "speech" which was, in the end, tiresome. That guy's acting, overall, was very bad, and not enjoyable to watch. His character was not even likeable. I don't know how someone can make a movie where the main character is not likable - one of the functions of having a main character is that the audience will immediately identify and like him or her. How did this guy pull it off that I didn't give a damn what happened to his character. Mystifying. Nothing happened in this movie, and I do not say that because it's endearing. A few movies can be good when nothing happens because there is so much going on below the surface. An excellent example is Lost in Translation, which, as far as I am concerned, is a masterpiece. This was typical, not well-written, and unoriginal in practicality. The ending. Why didn't he just get on the plane and crash on the way back to L.A.? That would've been a better ending.



I can't believe people gushed about this movie when it was released. Someone even told me that it was deep, thought-provoking, and even painful to watch. That would've been an excellent movie - this movie was not that. I am going to have to find the person who gave me that review and slap him. This movie had a couple of positives but they were just not significant enough to make something out of NOTHING, which is what the idea for this movie was, and also which is basically what I sat watching for 1:40 mins or so. Nothing. What a waste.